Not In Front of the Children
by adesso
Summary: If there is one thing Germany will not tolerate, it is traumatizing the delicate minds of his beloved dogs.


"Venedig" is German for "Venice." The name has become part of my headcanon now.  
Waaay back when I first started this, I didn't realize that Germany's dogs already had canonical names. So let's just assume this is at a later point in time, with a different set of dogs.

* * *

-

**Not In Front of the Children**

He had planned on a quiet night of reading by the fireplace; and he'd managed it until about ten minutes ago, when Italy had climbed into his lap and started nibbling on his neck. He'd held his book behind Italy's back, trying to read over the other man's shoulder, but by the time Italy's mouth made its way to Germany's ear, he knew it was a lost cause. So he set the book on the table, then took Italy's face in his hands and brought their lips together.

When they broke apart, Germany muttered against Italy's cheek, "You always ruin my plans."

Italy laughed, his breath hot against Germany's neck. "No, I just come up with more fun plans!" He wriggled in Germany's lap, wrapping his legs around Germany's torso while his deft fingers traveled up the muscles of his stomach. Closing his eyes, Germany leaned his head back, giving Italy better access to his neck. He felt the warm, moist press of Italy's tongue against his throat.

When Germany opened his eyes again, he sensed something different in the room, and it took him a moment before he noticed the curious brown gaze fixed upon him.

"Nngh—Siegfried!"

Italy giggled against Germany's skin. "That's not my name, Germany!"

Siegfried, however, wagged his tail at the acknowledgment.

"Not you," Germany grumbled.

"Oh! Siegfried!" Italy twisted around to look at the dog sitting on the floor behind him. He stretched out his hand and waggled his fingers, which Siegfried gave a genial lick before going to lie down in front of the fireplace.

Smiling, Italy returned his attention to Germany. "He just wanted to say hello!" Italy bent his head, trailing his lips down Germany's throat towards his chest.

Germany ran one hand down Italy's back and brought the other up to stroke his brown hair; but it was a rather absent-minded attempt, and he soon found his gaze drawn back to the dog. Siegfried's head was resting on the floor between his front paws, but his ears were forward and alert, his eyes fixed on his master.

"You're so tense all of a sudden!" Italy pressed and rubbed his fingers into the muscles of Germany's neck, but it did little to alleviate the tension there.

"Er, Venedig—maybe we should leave this room."

Italy's head popped up, his eyes wide, and he grinned. "You want to try the kitchen?"

"Bedroom!"

Italy shrugged, but pushed off of Germany's lap, taking his hand and pulling him off the couch and towards the bedroom.

Before they left the room, Germany glanced back at Siegfried, who had lifted his head to watch them go; he pointed at the dog and commanded in his native tongue, "_Stay!_"

When they reached the bedroom, Italy all but threw himself against Germany, sending him sprawling back onto the bed while Italy settled atop him. Their lips met as Italy clutched Germany's shirt, undoing each button with a deft flick of his finger until he reached Germany's belt, which he began to unbuckle. He pressed his tongue between Germany's lips, forcing them open; Germany gave an involuntary shudder as Italy's mouth enveloped his bottom lip.

He was so distracted by Italy's ministrations that at first he didn't notice the hot breath tickling the side of his face. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and was met by a large, pointed black snout resting upon the edge of the bed.

He broke away from Italy's mouth and snapped his fingers, pointing towards the door. "_Out!_"

Italy sat up, frowning. "But I'm not in you yet!"

"Not you!" Germany growled, and he turned his head again to glare at the Doberman, who had lifted her head from the bed and was now staring at them both with her deep brown eyes.

"Aww, poor Brunhilde!" Italy leaned over to scratch her behind the ears. "It's her room, too, y'know!"

Germany could not in good conscience argue that point. It had been his own idea, after all, to fit all three dogs' beds into the room. (Because Brunhilde liked being able to keep an eye on everyone, and Siegfried was terribly frightened of thunder storms and couldn't possibly be left alone when one was going on, so it was a very sensible arrangement overall!)

"Yes. Well. Be that as it may!" Germany snapped his fingers again and pointed at the door, and Brunhilde walked out with her head hung low. "There are certain things that—well, she must do as she is told!"

Italy was staring down at him, his head tilted, one corner of his lips quirked up in a bemused smile. After a moment he shook his head and laughed. "You're very cute when you blush like that!"

And then he ripped Germany's belt off.

As Italy pressed a slow kiss to his lips, Germany mumbled against his mouth, "'Cute' is not the appropriate word." Italy just laughed again, his stomach fluttering against Germany's bare skin.

Eventually their shirts were both torn away, and Italy's legs tightened around Germany's waist as he bent to press his lips to Germany's chest. There was silence but for Italy's groans and Germany's sharp gasps; but the quiet was disrupted by the faint jingling of tiny metal against metal, the only warning Italy received before a blur of silver pounced on his back.

"Eep!" Italy fell upon Germany as claws danced upon his skin, and a happy little tongue assaulted the back of his neck.

Peering over Italy's shoulder, Germany scowled. "_Heidi!_"

The little Schnauzer gave a high-pitched bark, her nub of a tail wagging. She then hopped off of Italy's back, hurried over to Germany, and stuck her nose into his ear.

Germany's nostrils flared as he released a long sigh through them.

Italy grabbed Heidi underneath her front legs and gently placed her on the floor. Leaning over the bed, he said to her, "I'm sorry, Heidi, but we're a little busy right now. We'll play with you later!"

Germany sat up and once again snapped his fingers and pointed towards the door; but before he could let out the command, Italy pushed his stern finger down. "She doesn't have to leave!"

"Yes, she does!" Germany declared. By now, Heidi had settled into Brunhilde's massive bed, stretched out on her side with one foot in the air.

Italy leaned forward, placing his hands on the bed on either side of Germany's hips as he brought his face close, his bottom lip jutting out in as much of a thoughtful expression as Italy ever managed. "You love your dogs. Why do you want to keep them out all of a sudden?"

Germany felt his cheeks growing hot. "Because," he said in a firm voice, "there are certain things that… they… should not be witness to!"

Italy's face brightened as he let out a comprehending, "Oooh." But then further confusion clouded his face, and he tilted his head and frowned as he sat back again, nestling into Germany's lap. "But it's nothing bad! You don't have to kick them out while we make love!"

Germany rubbed his brow slowly. How to explain the concept in terms Italy would understand? "It would be as though-- your grandfather. Imagine if you had witnessed him… in… the act!"

Italy smiled and shook his head. "Oh, no, that never would've happened, they always kept us away from the orgy houses."

Sighing, Germany sat back on his elbows and squeezed his eyes shut. "Be that as it may. Not everyone had such an unconventional parental figure as you." He opened his eyes, but he didn't look at Italy; instead he glanced at Heidi, sprawled out on a bed that was much too large for her, and then towards the door – he saw two large paws and a nose that belonged to Siegfried just barely poking through the doorframe. He let out a long sigh. "For those with more stable upbringings, that sort of thing could give quite a shock!"

Italy raised his brows at this; then he folded his arms and his eyes traveled up as his lips pursed in thought. At last he gave a firm nod, and for the briefest of moments Germany wondered if he had understood and would acquiesce – but then Italy's face split into a confident grin, and he looked over his shoulder towards the door, putting his fingers to his mouth and whistling.

The paws in the doorway shifted as Siegfried stood, poking the rest of his head through the door. Brunhilde's head appeared above his only a moment later.

Germany kept his voice steady. "What are you doing."

Italy placed his hand on Germany's cheek and kissed his brow. "Trust me!" Then he climbed off of the bed and went to the door, opening it the rest of the way and patting his legs in encouragement. "Come in, guys! Heidi, over here!"

The dogs followed him to the bed, where he sat down cross-legged beside Germany, and Siegfried, Brunhilde, and Heidi all lined up on the floor, looking up at Italy expectantly.

"Venedig. _What are you doing._"

But Italy only gave him a sly smile before returning his gaze to the dogs, waving his hand as he spoke. "All right, _bambini_—your father and I are about to do something that is very beautiful and completely natural and lots and lots of fun!" Germany brought a hand to his face. "And I know you've probably never seen anything like this so it may seem a little weird to you, but it just means that your daddy and I love each other and like to touch each other, only we have to do it in private because your daddy says that touching too much in public is indecent and I must keep my hands to myself as much as possible. But anyway, it's a wonderful thing we're about to do!"

Italy leaned forward until his nose was almost touching Brunhilde's, and he spoke in a cautious whisper that was still quite loud enough for Germany to hear: "Also, your daddy might be very loud, but don't worry, it just means he's enjoying himself!"

"_Venedig._"

Italy threw his hands up in triumph as he beamed at Germany. "There! Now they're prepared!"

"I—this is—"

"Should I give them more details?"

"_No!_"

Heidi jumped onto the bed then (there were little steps placed to help her do just that) and climbed into Germany's lap, putting her front paws on his chest and licking his chin. The other two were watching him as well, Brunhilde with her head tilted and Siegfried with his chin resting on the bed.

"Wow," said Italy, "they must be really curious about this!"

Germany frowned down at Heidi's neatly trimmed eyebrows. "Strange. They've never been so curious about it before."

Italy took the Schnauzer and set her on the floor again, and she sat there while Siegfried and Brunhilde retreated to their respective beds. Then he placed both his palms flat against Germany's chest and pushed him onto his back.

He did his best to distract Germany – though no, it was probably not a conscious effort on Italy's part. He was always an ardent lover, and his natural habits were usually enough to make his partner forget himself in the moment. But no matter how he writhed atop Germany, no matter where his hands traveled, no matter how fiercely he sucked on Germany's lower lip, Germany could not stop gazing in horror out of the corner of his eyes at the three dogs, who each watched the men in varying stages of interest.

Germany had to speak against Italy's mouth when he finally muttered, "This is wrong."

Italy let out a groan quite different from the others that had escaped him; he collapsed on top of Germany and whined into his chest, "_Germaniaaaa!_"

Germany seized Italy's shoulders and pushed him upright. "Something is wrong! They should not be so interested in this!" Then he sat up himself, sending Italy toppling backwards as he addressed the dogs – using what would have been his most commanding tone, were it not for the underlying sense of panic in his voice: "_Why are you watching so closely?_"

This demand yielded little results – though Heidi did bark at the acknowledgment and run around in circles.

Italy broke his pout to offer a suggestion: "Maybe they're hungry?"

"Impossible. They have already been fed!" Yes, their routine had been the same that night as always – he had come home, set out the three bowls of food before eating the dinner Italy had prepared for him; then his routine involved a half hour of personal recreation (reading, this night) before he took the dogs—_ah._

Germany quickly retrieved his shirt and stood from the bed. Siegfried and Brunhilde both lifted their heads while Heidi danced around his feet. Italy swung his legs over the side of the bed, watching Germany with a distressed frown. "So… we're not going to make love?"

Germany glared at him as he readjusted his belt. "Get dressed. We are going for a walk."

Italy's eyebrows shot up, and he broke into a grin. "Oh! So that's it! They have to go out and they were upset that you'd forgotten!"

Scowling, Germany pulled Italy to his feet. "It is because _you_ distracted me! You are the one they should be upset with!"

-

Germany by now was used to Italy's total disregard for personal space, and it was a chilly night anyway, so in truth he was glad to have a warm body pressed so close to him. Italy clung to him with one arm, and his free hand held Heidi's leash, while Germany controlled Brunhilde's and Siegfried, who did not need a leash, walked steadily at his master's side.

They stopped at a nearby park, and Germany allowed Brunhilde and Heidi to chase each other across the lawn while Siegfried stretched out at his feet.

When the shepherd eventually wandered off to join the other two, Italy rested his head against Germany's shoulder. "Can I distract you again after we get back?" Germany's only reply was a long sigh; Italy turned his head so that he could look up at him, his brown eyes reflecting the light of a nearby lamppost, and he smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry," he whispered, "we'll put them to bed first, and then we can just stay on the couch for a bit!"

Germany swallowed hard. "That would be… acceptable. And… nice. Yes."

Italy placed a chaste little kiss against Germany's reddened cheek.


End file.
